Trying to Minimize Holiday Stress

So the holidays are fast approaching. It is hard to believe that it is almost time to think about Thanksgiving. For as long as I can remember, my family has hosted a large gathering of family and friends. Often, we'd squeeze twenty or more people around the table. I always cooked from scratch and set a fine table with the my in-law's wedding china. We have quite a lot to be grateful for! Every day is a gift.

Far too often caregivers get caught up in the details of the holiday celebrations and create too much additional stress for ourselves and our families. One of the hardest things about a chronic illness or disability is the fact that things are quite unpredictable. It is almost impossible to predict if our loved one will have a good day or a bad. There's  always the dilemma over what to do. Do we accept that invitation or not? Should we have people over? Do we keep with the family traditions or do something different?

When I am speaking to groups about alleviating caregiver stress I make a few simple suggestions regarding holiday celebrations:

• If you must go "all out," pick one holiday and make it your own. As I said previously, I made Thanksgiving "our" holiday. Perhaps you'd like to make Memorial Day your holiday and host a back yard bar-b-que following the Memorial Day parade. Or perhaps a Super Bowl party is more your speed. It is better to do one celebration well than try to do all of them and exhaust yourself.
• Simplify. Holiday decorations that rival the Hallmark Channel Christmas specials look spectacular on Pinterest but really are not necessary. You can tastefully decorate with minimal effort and still feel festive. If you typically cook traditional meals, cut back on the menu and make just a few favorites. Sometimes less = more. 
• Many of us in the midst of caregiving have neither the time nor the money to buy gifts for large families. Perhaps it is time to modify the way your family exchanges gifts. Some families draw names. Others buy for only the little children. Gift cards are an option, too. Do some brainstorming with other family members to find something that works, even if that means eliminating the gift exchange entirely. 
• Potluck. Ask others to bring a dish to share. 
• Shop on line. If you are fortunate enough to have grocery stores in your area that offer on line ordering and delivery service, take advantage of it! You can have food delivered right to your doorstep and never have to fight the long lines.

There are plenty of other ways in which you can simplify your holidays. I suppose the first place to start is by prioritizing what is special to you and your family. 

This year I am contemplating how I can best serve my husband and also have family involved in our Thanksgiving dinner. Instead of our large gathering, I have decided to cook a few traditional favorites for the two of us and then have others come for dessert. It's a far cry from what we are used to. It saddens me, in a way. But, when I consider how exhausted he becomes after dialysis treatments I know in my heart that it is probably best we scale things back. 

We DO have a lot to be grateful for despite the break in tradition. I hope you can say the same!